love

Becoming Unforgettable

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In 1951 Nate King Cole released a song by the name of “Unforgettable”. I’m sure that those of you who are familiar with this beautiful song can hear it as you read this. There’s a small relatable phrase in this short song that goes, “Like a song of love that clings to me, How the thought of you does things to me…”

Whew!! Have you ever been with someone who’s had this kind of effect on you? I mean, just the thought of them does something to you. (I’ll try not to make this a romance novel, Lol.) 

I think it’s safe to say that, this type of person is truly an unforgettable person. Think about it. We’ve all had people that have had an incredible impact on our lives, whether it was an intimate relationship or someone you’ve just met. The experience could’ve been good or even bad, but the point is this. No matter what happened at that moment, or that relationship, you’ll never ever forget it. It has been etched and sealed in your mind and heart forever. 

When we as individuals impact others in this way, we leave a monumental mark on their lives. We, in some small way, change the course of their lives forever.

If we’re truly honest, we all desire to be remembered by everyone we know. We want to leave this place knowing that, when the people we leave behind think of us, it’s going to put a smile on their faces. I’m always saying that we all should strive to have the largest, greatest home-going celebration ever. Even to the point that our enemies have to show up to acknowledge us. But the big question is this.  How can we conduct our everyday lives in such a way that it produces a great impact on people, to the point they can never forget us?     

I honestly believe that we can do it by first treating people as though they themselves are unforgettable. In one part of the song, Nat King Cole says “That’s why darling it’s incredible, That someone so unforgettable, Thinks that I am unforgettable too.” Wow!! That’s deep! When you become intentional about loving a person as though they’re unforgettable first, you inevitably become Unforgettable too. It’s this type of love that adds value to people in such a way that it causes them to see the great value in you. But you see, we can’t give or add value to anyone else if we don’t first possess it ourselves. I am convinced that when you become what you’re looking for in someone else, it’ll become easy to find the someone you’re looking for. Why? Because our need or desire for love is what we all as human beings have in common. It is our common denominator. Love is just universal, which puts everyone in the market for it. Ask yourself this. Am I living an unforgettable life with those I’m around? If the answer is no, I encourage you to decide to start today, that you’re going to leave an unerasable mark everywhere you go. God has placed this grace in you and now it’s time to release it. 

Love Is Unforgettable/Love Is Success

Love Is Present

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“Your Body Is Here But”….

Are you old enough to remember the song that goes, “Your body’s here with me but your mind is on the other side of town, messing me around”?
It was debuted by The O’Jay’s 1982.

The crazy thing about that song is that it’s timeless. Meaning, it’s just as relevant today as it was thirty-two years ago. As we often say “Same problem, different day.”

I think about how many relationships are suffering and have become so malnourished simply because people just aren’t present in the relationship anymore. Whether it’s due to unfaithfulness or “entanglements,” or just our everyday distractions, like smartphones and social media, etc. We find so many things that divert our attention away from what really matters, which are our relationships.

We say all the time that communication is the key to a successful relationship, and it’s true. You can’t have a relationship without communication. But listen, if you aren’t present, how can you have effective communication? You can’t!

I can really speak to this because it’s something I used to struggle with. I remember in the early years of my marriage, I was young, energetic, and seemed as though I had the whole world in the palm of my hands. I had been married almost a year to my beautiful wife, who at the time was carrying our first child. I felt as though I had everything I needed but failed to realize that it took work to maintain what I had. I, like so many people in a relationship, had begun to take our marriage for granted and slowly found us drifting apart. Though I was physically present in the house, my mind was everywhere else except with her. Due to my ignorance and lack of attention, I couldn’t see that my wife was lonely, emotionally hurting, and desperately needing my attention. Inevitably, our marriage became one-sided and my pregnant wife suffered immensely.

Of course, things eventually improved. I matured as a husband and began to meet my wife’s needs and marriage became fulfilling for both of us, and yes, throughout the years, we had different challenges but we were able to overcome them all by learning to love each other.

Throughout our twenty-three years of marriage, God has taught us a very important lesson, and that is, Love Is Present. We now understand that no matter what’s going on in our individual lives, we need to be present with one another. Being present is simply being engaged, and having good engagement is what makes relationships so amazing. Having someone that shows interest in you, makes you feel valued, it makes you feel wanted and needed. It gives you purpose, and where there’s purpose, there is a reason to live. I remember later on in our marriage, my wife told me that during her time without my presence, she said to God, “Just take me. I really don’t want to be here anymore.” I had no idea that due to my lack of presence or engagement in her life, that she had experienced so much pain.

So, I’ve learned that when you stop and intentionally engage in someone’s life, it makes them feel special and valued. Think about it, there’s nothing like finding yourself hurting or in fear and someone shows up and express concern for you and want to genuinely protect you and ease your pain. We’ve all been there, whether as a child or an adult. Having someone to engage our lives with love gives us a great sense of value in life and relationship. It’s something we all need, both men and women.

Something beautiful happens when two lives engage and began to display interest in one another, they end up finding what’s called “rhythm.” In order to have a successful thriving relationship with someone, you must find their rhythm. It’s like playing double-dutch rope. Most times the person that just stands there, and stares at the ropes before jumping in, is hardly ever successful. But, it’s easy to pick out the person that’s about to really kill it. They’re the ones that find themselves unconsciously rocking back and forth, looking for the rhythm of the rope, that “sweet spot.” They are the ones that see themselves inside the ropes before they’re actually in the ropes, so that when the time comes they’re able to jump in and dominate the ropes, keeping the flow.

This is why it’s so important to study your spouse if you’re married or significant other while dating. Become present and learn each other’s rhythm of love and you’ll notice yourself becoming one with each other, fulfilling each other’s needs as you move forward with purpose.

A successful relationship requires intentional presence. Take some time and think of how you can become more engaged and present with your loved one. Study their moves, learn their likes and their dislikes. Find out what makes them tick, and remember as you study them, you’re just rocking to find their rhythm. You’ll then find yourself ahead of them fulfilling their needs and wants before they express it and trust me, they’ll notice and began to fall deeper in love with the flow. It’s called “intimacy.”

Love Is Present, Love Is Success

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Love Is Forgiveness

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It was a normal day when a thirty-two year old troubled and hurting Charles Roberts, stormed into an Amish schoolhouse and commits an unspeakable evil. Before turning a gun on himself to take his own life, Charles lined up ten innocent little girls and began to shoot them one by one. As news got out, shock and grief echoed throughout the community, the state of Pennsylvania and the nation abroad. Though this news was a terrible, heart-wrenching event to hear about, there was something about this Amish community that would ring out much louder than the horrible act of a killer. That was the incredible ability to forgive the killer and his family. As many began to hear about the heart and acts of kindness extended to the killer’s family, they just couldn’t fathom how they were able to do it.
Like many others, I’m sure there are people reading this now and have probably heard this story of forgiveness and thought to yourselves “how?” How can someone, without skipping a beat, turn and immediately forgive like that? We’ve all been in that place where we were wronged in some way and tried to find a way to forgive the one that wrongs us, even for the smallest thing.
I believe there’s a quote from Alexander Pope which says “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” There is so much truth to this profound statement and I really believe that true forgiveness is divine because real forgiveness goes beyond our own ability to do so.
To forgive someone means to fore-give or give pardon before the offense even occurs. Though this sounds crazy, it’s really amazing. To forgive is to have the ability to live beyond. It’s the ability to live beyond the offense, the hurt, and the pain. These Amish people were a community of people that refused to wait till something happened to them before they walked in forgiveness. We must understand that love is a lifestyle, not an event. It must be who we are, not what we do. That’s when the grace of God is there to do the impossible. No, this isn’t necessarily easy but it’s possible and this Amish community proved it as well as many others before and since them.
God is love and has given us the ability, through him, to walk in love in all situations or circumstances. He created us in His own image, meaning we are spirit beings in physical bodies and if we began to walk with that reality in mind and heart, we’ll start to live beyond offense. We’ll begin to view others through his eyes of love and recognize that hurt and offended people tend to hurt and offend others without even realizing it. People that hurt others also fail to know who they were created to be, so they live out of a dark place and become an offense to others.
Learning who you were created to be and becoming intentional about walking in love will liberate you and keep you from so much heartache. Though forgiveness can be incredibly difficult it can be so liberating. On the other hand, unforgiveness will create a dungeon of hell for your soul, leaving the offender in control if held on to.
Who is it that needs your forgiveness in your life? Is it a family member, a friend or enemy? It doesn’t matter who it is or what they’ve done to you, they’re actions don’t deserve your love but they do. Let your light of love shine and destroy the darkness which blinds them and then watches them glow.

Love Is Forgiveness

Couple with a dog laughing

Love Is Intentional

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There are new relationships of all kind being established every day. From meeting that special someone in hopes of spending the rest of your life with, to acquiring that new client you hope to keep as a lifetime customer. We enter these relationships with great hopes for the future and we become so excited about where we believe the relationship is going. In the beginning, we have such a clear vision of what the end would be like but unfortunately, too many of our relationships fail just as fast as they begin. One day a couple gets married with such great hopes for a family future and then a year later they’re divorced. Or for that businessman or entrepreneur with a great plan and customer base, one day finds himself wondering what happened. We’ve all witnessed too many great relationships start well but end up in the gutter over trivial or unexplainable things.

If there is one thing that I could get across to the world, it would be this. ‘Love doesn’t just happen.’ Meaning, successful relationships are not going to just fall from the sky and then we live happily ever after, but they require work. If we care to be honest with ourselves, one of the main reasons relationships go south is because people are not willing to put forth an effort to maintain and cultivate the type of relationships they desire.

Amazing, long-term relationships are obtainable but we must first know and understand that love is intentional. If you want to grow any type of relationship, you must love on purpose. You must have a purposeful, genuine care for those in a relationship with you. It is a choice we make to develop a long-lasting bond with those we are close to or desire to have in our circle of influence. We all at times find ourselves in difficult seasons in our relationships but if we want the type of relationships that thrive and become envied by others; we must be intentional about growing them to be fulfilling relationships.

Understand this, that love by nature is intentional. It naturally wants to see every relationship do well. So when we walk in love, we decide to do whatever it takes to make that relationship work. The true love of God (agape) wants to see people fulfilled and because it is the most powerful force ever, it can’t fail. I believe God IS love and when we walk in love, we walk in God and because He can’t fail, love can’t fail, therefore love is success.

Walking in this kind of love that moves us to victory and success starts with the right mindset. Intentional love requires intentional thinking. We would all agree that actions are directly dictated by thoughts and if that’s true, we must commit to having the right mindset in relationships.

What are your thoughts right now towards your loved one or your clients or those you serve? Are you intentionally having positive, loving thoughts or ideas of adding value to your relationships? Or are you constantly replaying all the negative things that you’ve experienced or currently experiencing? Many people fail to understand that negative thoughts create a just as clear vision as positive thoughts, and that vision creates passion and energy to fulfill itself.

Too many people are creating negative realities they don’t want and end up wondering why they are where they are. It’s just the creative power of thought. It’s time to get rid of those negative thoughts or visions and begin to intentionally meditate on what YOU want to do in your relationships to make them successful. Then, let’s act on those thoughts. Do something big to get the momentum going and with intentional thoughts, keep moving forward.

You have amazing relationships waiting to be established and everyone around you is in the market for the love you have. It is a human need but it’s up to you to find out how you’re going to intentionally fulfill those needs and add value to them through love.

Love Is Success

Be Loved on Bridge

Love Is Value

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Can you imagine our world without money or any other kind of currency for the exchange of product or services? A world where you didn’t have to buy food to eat or pay for a place to live or to put clothes on your back, but you have everything you could ever need or want. You’re probably thinking “Yeah, I can ONLY imagine that kind of world.” Trust me, I totally agree with you. That would be an amazing world to live in but it’s not our reality.
Today we live in a world where money is essential. I mean, we’ve all heard the term “Money makes the world go around” right? Well, there is truth to that statement. In order to function or to get by in this world you need money and if not money, something of equal value. It is the common representation of value and the exchange of that value is everything. We exchange it for products, services, times etc. Think about it, we go to work on our jobs to exchange our time for a paycheck and we then go and exchange that money for gas, water, lights, food etc.
Even when it comes to our close relationships, they are all based on the exchange of relational values. It’s how we relate to one another. Otherwise, how can we classify it as a relationship? Coming to the table with value is essential for establishing common ground for any relationship. Value makes relationships viable.
One of the reasons that most relationships end the way they do, whether personal or business is because the “why” is lost. We forget that the foundational purpose of the relationship is adding value to the other.
The one thing I’ve come to learn is that love is a real value. I’m not talking about some lazy, fickle, some timing kind of love. I’m talking about the love God created us to live and walk in. A love that’s selfless and looks for opportunities to give life to everyone it comes in contact with. A love that is so secure in itself that it has no fear of being without, therefore, it just gives.
Imagine if everything that we did as humans was done with an unconditional love? It doesn’t matter if it’s in a personal, intimate relationship or professional/business relationship. What if love was the purpose behind the product or service offered, as though it was the only reason you even offered it? Think about how far we’ll go together. What if that person you’re in a relationship with was convinced that the only reason you’re with them is to add value to their lives and see them happy? You would become such an asset to them that they would be happy to give equal value to keep you. You become someone that’s worth holding on to, a professional that’s worth doing business with or even a person worth spending the rest of their life with. I’ve come to understand this by experience, that walking in love, being genuinely concerned about the needs of others increases your personal value and worth significantly in their eyes, because when it is experienced, people find themselves fulfilled. They’re fulfilled on the job, in the marketplace, and at home.
Love is in high demand and it’s simply because we were created for it; therefore it really is a universal need. You were created by God to add value to the people around you but you must first see yourself as valuable so that you’ll act as such. Not in arrogance but humility.
I challenge you today to become mindful of this power that you possess. Meditate on God’s love that changes lives and watch His grace empower you to succeed.

Love Is Success

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Love Is Influence

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Have you ever had someone in your life that could really use some help and you thought to yourself “I really want to help them.” Maybe it was obvious that they were making some bad decisions and you thought “Man, if I can just get them to hear me out, I could be a huge help.”

The first thing many people want to do is get aggressive and try to force change to happen. “I’m going to make you act right” but just end up pushing them away and utterly destroy the relationship. Or maybe, you’re an entrepreneur or business owner with a product or service that could improve your client’s situation or life. The last thing you want to do is push them away and lose someone that could really use your product or service and on top of that you lose out on a sale.

Regardless of the scenario you find yourself in, what you need at this point is influence.

Influence is the capacity to have an affect on the character or behavior of someone or something. It’s simply the ability to persuade.

You see, that’s the beauty of love. It is influence. Think about it. What happens when you are convinced that a person is really for you and genuinely care about your wellbeing and there’s no selfish agenda? Think about the access you give them. They are the ones you let in close and they are the ones that you listen to when they speak. They have a position in your life with the privilege to speak over you, when others can’t. They have influence.

Have you ever watched a negotiator successfully stop someone from committing suicide or killing people? What is it that persuaded the person to give in? They became convinced that someone truly cared about them. Love persuaded their decision and altered their life.

It’s the same way in all other areas of life where people are concerned. It could be with your business clients, your boss on the job or just people in passing. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is. One of the greatest needs of mankind is having significance. Showing people that they matter, they are needed and wanted. Making them feel that they’re an important piece to the puzzle. When they are convinced that you are genuinely concerned about them and that you have their best interest at heart, you will have amazing influence in their life. Yes, even your boss!!!

See, because love is selfless, it chooses to leave its own world, its comforts and entitlements to penetrate someone else’s world to influence it and make it beautiful. It’s sacrificial and all about adding value to someone else’s life in some kind of way.

Who do you know that can use some loving influence?

Is it a sibling, client, friend or spouse? What about that person you pass by every day that could use a little love to get them on the right path?

Dive in

Remember, go into their world and explore it with a genuine interest. Find out what it is that they like to do. For example, you may not know anything about video games but develop an interest for the sake of your relationship with that teenager that’s having problems. It’s an open door.

Once you make a person feel significant, you will automatically become significant to them. Now that person or group needs you and thus you now have influence.

Love Is Success